Why is everybody so angry?

News last week out of Norway hit hard. So many dead, so much devastation, so much anger.

Days after the attacks, the world was still reeling and Norwegians were still in shock, albeit vowing to rise above the tragedy and stand strong. In the words of Khalid Hussain, a Norwegian of Pakistani descent, "This is a tragedy for the whole of Norway. Whenever anyone tries to harm democracy, it doesn't matter what skin colour you are or what nationality, it's every person's duty to show solidarity."

Given all the mayhem and madness of late, it might seem that the entire world is going completely bonkers. Deadly natural disasters, man-made tragedies, self-inflicted pain, violent intimidation, intrusive and insensitive computer hacking, poisonous name calling, and incessant silliness and juvenile behaviour from our 'leaders'. And that is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

On a local scale, there are other problems that co-exist with us on a daily basis in our communities - drugs, gangs, theft and worse. That's all bad enough, but for me, the real sign of seething unabridged anger is "no rhyme or reason" vandalism. Most crimes are targeted at specific individuals, but vandalism is purely because it's there.

Just last week, one of our neighbours woke up to find his new shed trashed - in Oz, one never trashes a bloke's shed! - and another was confronted by foul language spray painted in big letters on his otherwise well-kept lane-accessed garage. Walk around any neighbourhood, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and you will see evidence of deliberately lit fires, torn-up gardens, pushed-over mailboxes, smashed windows, and an inordinate amount of litter. And that, too, is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Maybe I'm just a bit sensitive after reading about and personally witnessing so much bad news, but it does seem that people are getting angrier and angrier. Indeed, communication, discussion, common sense, respect for others, respect for self, and - my favourite - counting to 10 have all gone out the window, replaced by yelling and cursing, verbally abusing and insulting, gesticulating and throwing things, fighting and bullying, ignoring and ridiculing. And yes, spray painting garages.

There are so many reasons for and degrees of anger and its delivery, but for those of us who prefer to curse in private, talk things through, think before acting, and paint inside, it's hard to connect with the kind of anger that debilitates, denies and destroys.

I'm not sure why everybody is so angry, but maybe that's something we can talk about when we all calm down a bit. If ever ....

It's all good

So, I need to lose a few pounds. Or let me rephrase that - I want to lose a few pounds. Nothing serious, but a little extra effort is required to get me back to where I won't worry about all those challenges that come with carrying a few extra pounds.

Yes, I know. The weight gain was the direct result of too much sitting around and tapping at the keyboard, an overabundance of chocolate peanuts, nachos and pizza, and not enough out and about stuff to keep the balance balanced.

It actually started when my dog, Sydney, died a few years back. We were good mates, walked a lot, kept active. But when she left, I stopped and started, if you get what I mean, and I've stayed that way ever since.

But no more. I'm on a mission for big changes. Actually, I'm already on the road to a lighter version and am loving the new resolve to stay on track.

And just to be clear, along the way I won't be indulging in any personal trainer thing or joining a gym or training to run a marathon or starving myself or buying a scale to check in every day. I'm setting course for something I can stick with long after the fact.

Walking is first on the list - an hour every day, at least. So much to see and so much ground to cover.
Water is a mainstay - actually forgotten how great and refreshing that stuff is. And available everywhere, albeit sometimes for a price.
Fruit and veggies - a wonderful selection is up for grabs, all fun and inexpensive.
Yogurt - meals in little containers, and soooo good for me.
Grains and fibre - regularly speaking.

Oh, no, I'm not abandoning my faithful companions with their seductively wily ways and delicious tastes. I'm just taking some time out to acquaint myself with other possibly permanent companions that will hopefully prove to be equally faithful at some point down the line.

I'm already full on with the walking thing, and the others are fast following suit.

I believe that in all things, a bit of balance is what's required. Just remember that your balance might not compute in someone else's reality, and if you set - and stick to - your own course, you'll end up exactly where you want to be.

Now, did anyone say pizza? With salad, of course!

Non-negotiable

When there are lots of things that have to get done, it can be difficult to come up with and stick to a plan to make it all happen. Enter the "to-do list", with its many variations, including my large, transportable "post-it note" list that is visible on a daily basis. Easy to create and stick to, regardless of what is going on.

Actually, making lists was never my problem; getting everything done was. I always got stuck identifying the order in which things on the list should get done. Obviously, not much thought went into making the list, and with so much on the list, doing it was almost impossible.

So, how to know what's important and what should get done first?

Some experts will tell you that you should tackle the big things first and leave the smaller, easier things to the end. But in my experience, some of those smaller, easier things are the important things, so it doesn't feel right to penalise them just because they are small. And what about my projects that are equally important but often supplanted in favour of income-earning options? I'm sure some expert has an opinion on those, as well.

To ease my daily conundrum, a wise sage introduced me to "non-negotiable". A new concept in my cluttered mind that made perfect sense and set my to-do list in perfect order.

Forget about individual items - instead, divide into negotiable and non-negotiable. The latter applies to those things that absolutely have to get done every day (with some Saturdays and all Sundays off for good behaviour), while others will get done if there's time. Might not make sense to you, but if you saw my list ....

So, to keep a long list short, speeches, writing, music, editing (4 hours max - hey, I gotta make some money!), reading, walking and healthy eating are all non-negotiable items, while everything else is negotiable. If I can't fit in all the negotiables after all the non-negotiables have been met, then, quite simply, there are too many negotiables on the list and something has to go. Can't put more hours in the day, and I need some down time alone and with family and friends, so ....

My list works brilliantly! And much more practical than re-listing items on a regular basis, agonizing over order, and chastising myself for not crossing particular things off on any particular day. This way, I simply make one list, stick it up somewhere, and check in every day to make sure the non-negotiables have been met. And there is the side benefit of being able to say a guilt-free "No" to new commitments when the list is full and I can't take on anything else.

What is non-negotiable on your list? Once you identify it, it will never be supplanted again.

I am a Gilmore girl!

I love watching tv, especially shows with compelling characters, extraordinary actors, riveting storylines and thought-provoking content, and that mirror life in every possible way.

These days, the attraction is mostly a collection of sci-fi, supernatural, fantasy and horror - Supernatural, Buffy, Stargate (x3), Being Human, Doctor Who, Sanctuary, LOTR and Harry Potter. Who doesn't relish the idea of living in a far off galaxy, travelling to a different time, working side by side with legendary creatures, or existing in an alternate universe?!

However, I must say that the Gilmore girls is a fabulous "none of the above" addition to my viewing schedule that is top of my "must re-watch regularly" list.

Watching the Gilmore girls is like witnessing events and circumstances from my own life on the small screen. No details here, but if you know me, you can guess some of it, and if you watch, you'll fill in the blanks.

I love the abundantly worded scripts that add stacks of energy to the interactions. The pop culture references that I totally get. The scriptwriting clues I pick up and use in current projects. The quirky little town that reminds me of somewhere I'd love to live. Luke's Diner ... well, because it's Luke's. And the realisation that part of me is very Lorelai/Rory while part of me is very Emily.

The Lorelai/Rory part I recognised from day one. It's a side of me that doesn't get out as much these days, but reappears every now and then, especially while I work and when I consider my life. I talk like them, clearly think like them, and drink coffee like them ... and, by the way, that began way before Amy Sherman-Palladino - show creator - even crafted the idea in her mind.

However, it was the Emily part that caught me by surprise when I was re-watching Season 1. Of course, only a tiny part of me is Emily - the 'missing out on when she was growing up' part. You might have to know or watch the show to get this, but in a nutshell, Emily was lamenting the fact that Rory (her granddaughter) had grown up without her being there. That Emily wasn't at Rory's birthday parties, first day of school, end of year plays, yarda yarda yarda, was understandably disappointing and fueled a lot of angst throughout the entire show. Sadly, efforts to make up for that loss did not always have the desired effect.

Emily's lament made me pout. I'd been having those exact same thoughts of late concerning my nieces and nephews in Oz. You see, I left when the youngest - third of five - was only 10 weeks old. So, other than whatever I could dose up on at multiple visits over the past 16 years, I've missed way too much of their lives. Birthday parties, first days at school, end of year plays, boyfriends and girlfriends, and oh, so much more.

If my life was a sci-fi show, I could go back in time and perhaps do things differently, or at least reassure myself that in some alternate universe I hadn't actually missed a thing. Unfortunately, all I can do now is remind them that I'm there for them ... well, here for them ... and only a day away. "All you have to do is call my name and I'll be there on the next plane ..." or "train", as Carole King sang.

My biggest fear is that they will move on to a phase of their lives where they don't need their auntie so much any more. That would be very disappointing indeed.

So, to guard against that, I've taken a leaf out of Emily's book and set up some regular rendezvous for getting together. Dinner every Friday night is virtually possible on FaceBook, and annual visits, regular phone calls, and the odd letter or two also play a role in opening a small window into their lives. It's not the same as being there, but it's kept us connected, nonetheless.

In lieu of a TARDIS, a stargate or a teleportation spell, I'm happy to stay a Gilmore girl. Nutty, witty, funny, unpredictable, quite the character and kinda cool ... which, as my nieces and nephews have told me, is why they love me as much as they do.

Regardless of the genre, tv shows draw us in when they are compelling, extraordinary, riveting and thought provoking, and especially when they mirror life in every possible way. If they happen to mirror your life, well, that a bonus, especially if you pick up any tips, or come to know and understand yourself better than you ever expected.

Thanks, girls!

Brrrr!

So, I took myself off to Tim Horton's coffee shop to do some work last week. It was hot outside, and I figured it would be cool and comfortable inside. Boy, was I in for a shock.

Yes, it was cool - in fact, very cool, bordering on freezing. I stuck it out for a while, but after half an hour, couldn't take it any more.

I don't have problems with the cold - heck, I live in Winnipeg, the "Brrrr!" capital of Canada. Nature's cold is something I love. But the artificial kind? That's a whole other matter.

According to Wikipedia, air conditioning is the removal of heat from indoor air for thermal comfort. Not ALL the heat, just enough for thermal comfort. However, many stores, especially the smaller kind with doors opening on a regular basis - coffee shops, restaurants, etc. - seem to think that if they remove all the heat, that will compensate for the many times people come and go. Unfortunately, the result is that it's often too cold for most people who stay.

I've thought about carrying my own personal thermometer when I go out for coffee or something to eat so I can tell management when it's too cold. But you'd think they'd be able to figure it out for themselves when they see people still wearing their outside coats and/or putting on extra layers.

A few questions ...
Is there a standard for inside/outside temperature ratios?
Is it cheaper to cool than to heat?
Are the low temps meant to hurry us out?
Is there any way those places can carry blankets?

Trust me - I've asked about that last one on many an occasion.

Okay, so clearly I don't get the whole air conditioning thing. Didn't have it growing up, don't like it in the house, rarely turn it on in the car - even the low setting ain't quite low enough. And while I've tried to get used to it, there's something about the natural versus artificial thing that makes it all but impossible.

Last week, it was so cold inside that I up and took myself to the closest clothing place to buy a light layer of some kind. It was hot outside and end of season, so wasn't expecting too much in the way of choice, let alone sizes that would fit. I ended up getting a men's hoodie - cheaper than the comparatively unattractive women's hoodie, but that's another story - and returned to the scene of the chill for a more comfortable hour or so.

When I got back to Tim's and put on my new hoodie, one of the servers asked if I was cold. I said I was, and she said, "Just as well you have that hoodie". And then, as two ladies were leaving - they were there for both my first and second visit that day - one said to me, "You were smart. We grinned and beared it, but next time we'll bring an extra layer as well."

Maybe that's my role in all this - to inspire the world, one person at a time, to carry an extra layer with them everywhere they go, just in case their thermal comfort is not met when they get there. Either that, or I'll find the thermostat myself and make all the necessary adjustments.

Cool, huh?! At least it's not "Brrrr!"

Retire?

When I read last week that Sylvia Kuzyk, long-time veteran news anchor and weather specialist at Winnipeg CTV, was retiring, I was both ecstatic for her and ponderous for me.

Ecstatic because I know Sylvia - mostly through community events and activities, and I think she's inspiring and fun to chat with. She's also great at what she does and, I dare say, she truly loves what she does. A win win for everyone.

Ponderous because of something she said: "I hate the word retire. It's more about just doing the things I've put in the background for such a long time." Hmmm ....

Reminded me of something my nephew, Matthew, once said when I asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up. "Retire," came the proud and confident response. "Retire?" "Sure. Everyone seems so much happier when they retire 'cause they get to do things they can't do when they are working."

Very insightful for a young boy.

Many people love their jobs, and are happy to stay in them forever - or at least until they retire. They make their way up the proverbial ladder, pursue the same general direction although in other places, or do a complete 360 and try something completely different - and not just once.

But not everyone loves their job. And not everyone can leave a bad job, an uninspiring job, or a job that fails to reflect their talents and aspirations. Responsibilities, expectations and assumptions have a lot to do with that.

Furthermore, not everyone has the schooling or the finances or the support to pursue their passion - and we all know that passion doesn't always pay, hence the divide for many between what they love to do and what they have to do.

Good job or bad, some people can't wait for retirement. A chance to do those things they've put in the background for such a long time.

In an ideal world, we'd all have jobs we love, we'd all have time for our passions, and we'd all be able to blend the joys and possibilities of retirement with the responsibilities and realities of our working lives.

Either that, or we could simply go straight to retirement and get started on those projects, those passions, in that new direction.

I've been playing in that world for a while, but not making much headway because of those pesky responsibilities, expectations and assumptions. But after reading of Sylvia's bold move, working in tandem with my friend Shelagh (who is intent on finishing her own big project), and talking with my Aussie mate Liz, who, while looking for her own 360, said, "You just have to get those speeches done and make it happen!", I'm inspired to fully embrace an early 'retirement' from my current work (editing) and begin in earnest and with passion on my desire to speak and write full time, with some music thrown in for good measure.

Inspired, yes, but also ecstatic and ponderous.

Ecstatic because I've decided not to wait until I retire to retire. Ponderous because I need to clear the proverbial decks and finish up what I currently have on my slate before I can "make it happen".

Can I do it? I've tried before. Hard to cut those ties, turn off those distractions. But I truly believe that this is what I'm meant to do and that it's time for less action and more talk ... if you get what I mean. Absolutely, I will find a way to make it happen.

And this time, PLEASE hold me to it!

So, let me just say, "Congratulations, Sylvia. Thanks to you, Shelagh and Liz for the inspiration. And good luck to us all!"

Reset

Ever have one of those days where you seem to follow one mishap with another?

Today was my day.

Got out of bed and stubbed my big toe - bugger! - on the door frame as I stumbled my way to breakfast. Spilled a glass of orange juice all over the table - and had to wash the tablecloth and placemats. Dropped a piece of toast on the floor. Burnt my lip on some too hot tea. Printed a 10-page document 20 times instead of a single page of that document 20 times. Shredded the wrong draft of a letter - twice! Misspoke in an email and confused a potential client - or at least she was 'potential' until she got the email. And made five attempts to type a four-letter word correctly - no, not one of those four-letter words (although I was thinking of some as I erred).

And all before 1:12 pm.

Days like that can be frustrating, to say the least. But occasionally they are a blessing. Reminders that things are perhaps a little out of control. That it's time to take a break. So, at 1:12 pm, I did exactly that - went for a walk and took in some Vitamin D, breathed and stretched, played the guitar for a bit, and finally got back down to work.

Kind of like a reset button.

And it worked wonders. No more hazardry behaviour, no more mishaps, no more swear-word-inducing moments. Only a sigh of relief that ferried the afternoon to conclusion.

Ah, much better. So much so, that I'm going to hit the reset button again tomorrow - BEFORE the mishaps get the better of me!