Why is everybody so angry?

News last week out of Norway hit hard. So many dead, so much devastation, so much anger.

Days after the attacks, the world was still reeling and Norwegians were still in shock, albeit vowing to rise above the tragedy and stand strong. In the words of Khalid Hussain, a Norwegian of Pakistani descent, "This is a tragedy for the whole of Norway. Whenever anyone tries to harm democracy, it doesn't matter what skin colour you are or what nationality, it's every person's duty to show solidarity."

Given all the mayhem and madness of late, it might seem that the entire world is going completely bonkers. Deadly natural disasters, man-made tragedies, self-inflicted pain, violent intimidation, intrusive and insensitive computer hacking, poisonous name calling, and incessant silliness and juvenile behaviour from our 'leaders'. And that is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

On a local scale, there are other problems that co-exist with us on a daily basis in our communities - drugs, gangs, theft and worse. That's all bad enough, but for me, the real sign of seething unabridged anger is "no rhyme or reason" vandalism. Most crimes are targeted at specific individuals, but vandalism is purely because it's there.

Just last week, one of our neighbours woke up to find his new shed trashed - in Oz, one never trashes a bloke's shed! - and another was confronted by foul language spray painted in big letters on his otherwise well-kept lane-accessed garage. Walk around any neighbourhood, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and you will see evidence of deliberately lit fires, torn-up gardens, pushed-over mailboxes, smashed windows, and an inordinate amount of litter. And that, too, is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Maybe I'm just a bit sensitive after reading about and personally witnessing so much bad news, but it does seem that people are getting angrier and angrier. Indeed, communication, discussion, common sense, respect for others, respect for self, and - my favourite - counting to 10 have all gone out the window, replaced by yelling and cursing, verbally abusing and insulting, gesticulating and throwing things, fighting and bullying, ignoring and ridiculing. And yes, spray painting garages.

There are so many reasons for and degrees of anger and its delivery, but for those of us who prefer to curse in private, talk things through, think before acting, and paint inside, it's hard to connect with the kind of anger that debilitates, denies and destroys.

I'm not sure why everybody is so angry, but maybe that's something we can talk about when we all calm down a bit. If ever ....

It's all good

So, I need to lose a few pounds. Or let me rephrase that - I want to lose a few pounds. Nothing serious, but a little extra effort is required to get me back to where I won't worry about all those challenges that come with carrying a few extra pounds.

Yes, I know. The weight gain was the direct result of too much sitting around and tapping at the keyboard, an overabundance of chocolate peanuts, nachos and pizza, and not enough out and about stuff to keep the balance balanced.

It actually started when my dog, Sydney, died a few years back. We were good mates, walked a lot, kept active. But when she left, I stopped and started, if you get what I mean, and I've stayed that way ever since.

But no more. I'm on a mission for big changes. Actually, I'm already on the road to a lighter version and am loving the new resolve to stay on track.

And just to be clear, along the way I won't be indulging in any personal trainer thing or joining a gym or training to run a marathon or starving myself or buying a scale to check in every day. I'm setting course for something I can stick with long after the fact.

Walking is first on the list - an hour every day, at least. So much to see and so much ground to cover.
Water is a mainstay - actually forgotten how great and refreshing that stuff is. And available everywhere, albeit sometimes for a price.
Fruit and veggies - a wonderful selection is up for grabs, all fun and inexpensive.
Yogurt - meals in little containers, and soooo good for me.
Grains and fibre - regularly speaking.

Oh, no, I'm not abandoning my faithful companions with their seductively wily ways and delicious tastes. I'm just taking some time out to acquaint myself with other possibly permanent companions that will hopefully prove to be equally faithful at some point down the line.

I'm already full on with the walking thing, and the others are fast following suit.

I believe that in all things, a bit of balance is what's required. Just remember that your balance might not compute in someone else's reality, and if you set - and stick to - your own course, you'll end up exactly where you want to be.

Now, did anyone say pizza? With salad, of course!

Non-negotiable

When there are lots of things that have to get done, it can be difficult to come up with and stick to a plan to make it all happen. Enter the "to-do list", with its many variations, including my large, transportable "post-it note" list that is visible on a daily basis. Easy to create and stick to, regardless of what is going on.

Actually, making lists was never my problem; getting everything done was. I always got stuck identifying the order in which things on the list should get done. Obviously, not much thought went into making the list, and with so much on the list, doing it was almost impossible.

So, how to know what's important and what should get done first?

Some experts will tell you that you should tackle the big things first and leave the smaller, easier things to the end. But in my experience, some of those smaller, easier things are the important things, so it doesn't feel right to penalise them just because they are small. And what about my projects that are equally important but often supplanted in favour of income-earning options? I'm sure some expert has an opinion on those, as well.

To ease my daily conundrum, a wise sage introduced me to "non-negotiable". A new concept in my cluttered mind that made perfect sense and set my to-do list in perfect order.

Forget about individual items - instead, divide into negotiable and non-negotiable. The latter applies to those things that absolutely have to get done every day (with some Saturdays and all Sundays off for good behaviour), while others will get done if there's time. Might not make sense to you, but if you saw my list ....

So, to keep a long list short, speeches, writing, music, editing (4 hours max - hey, I gotta make some money!), reading, walking and healthy eating are all non-negotiable items, while everything else is negotiable. If I can't fit in all the negotiables after all the non-negotiables have been met, then, quite simply, there are too many negotiables on the list and something has to go. Can't put more hours in the day, and I need some down time alone and with family and friends, so ....

My list works brilliantly! And much more practical than re-listing items on a regular basis, agonizing over order, and chastising myself for not crossing particular things off on any particular day. This way, I simply make one list, stick it up somewhere, and check in every day to make sure the non-negotiables have been met. And there is the side benefit of being able to say a guilt-free "No" to new commitments when the list is full and I can't take on anything else.

What is non-negotiable on your list? Once you identify it, it will never be supplanted again.

I am a Gilmore girl!

I love watching tv, especially shows with compelling characters, extraordinary actors, riveting storylines and thought-provoking content, and that mirror life in every possible way.

These days, the attraction is mostly a collection of sci-fi, supernatural, fantasy and horror - Supernatural, Buffy, Stargate (x3), Being Human, Doctor Who, Sanctuary, LOTR and Harry Potter. Who doesn't relish the idea of living in a far off galaxy, travelling to a different time, working side by side with legendary creatures, or existing in an alternate universe?!

However, I must say that the Gilmore girls is a fabulous "none of the above" addition to my viewing schedule that is top of my "must re-watch regularly" list.

Watching the Gilmore girls is like witnessing events and circumstances from my own life on the small screen. No details here, but if you know me, you can guess some of it, and if you watch, you'll fill in the blanks.

I love the abundantly worded scripts that add stacks of energy to the interactions. The pop culture references that I totally get. The scriptwriting clues I pick up and use in current projects. The quirky little town that reminds me of somewhere I'd love to live. Luke's Diner ... well, because it's Luke's. And the realisation that part of me is very Lorelai/Rory while part of me is very Emily.

The Lorelai/Rory part I recognised from day one. It's a side of me that doesn't get out as much these days, but reappears every now and then, especially while I work and when I consider my life. I talk like them, clearly think like them, and drink coffee like them ... and, by the way, that began way before Amy Sherman-Palladino - show creator - even crafted the idea in her mind.

However, it was the Emily part that caught me by surprise when I was re-watching Season 1. Of course, only a tiny part of me is Emily - the 'missing out on when she was growing up' part. You might have to know or watch the show to get this, but in a nutshell, Emily was lamenting the fact that Rory (her granddaughter) had grown up without her being there. That Emily wasn't at Rory's birthday parties, first day of school, end of year plays, yarda yarda yarda, was understandably disappointing and fueled a lot of angst throughout the entire show. Sadly, efforts to make up for that loss did not always have the desired effect.

Emily's lament made me pout. I'd been having those exact same thoughts of late concerning my nieces and nephews in Oz. You see, I left when the youngest - third of five - was only 10 weeks old. So, other than whatever I could dose up on at multiple visits over the past 16 years, I've missed way too much of their lives. Birthday parties, first days at school, end of year plays, boyfriends and girlfriends, and oh, so much more.

If my life was a sci-fi show, I could go back in time and perhaps do things differently, or at least reassure myself that in some alternate universe I hadn't actually missed a thing. Unfortunately, all I can do now is remind them that I'm there for them ... well, here for them ... and only a day away. "All you have to do is call my name and I'll be there on the next plane ..." or "train", as Carole King sang.

My biggest fear is that they will move on to a phase of their lives where they don't need their auntie so much any more. That would be very disappointing indeed.

So, to guard against that, I've taken a leaf out of Emily's book and set up some regular rendezvous for getting together. Dinner every Friday night is virtually possible on FaceBook, and annual visits, regular phone calls, and the odd letter or two also play a role in opening a small window into their lives. It's not the same as being there, but it's kept us connected, nonetheless.

In lieu of a TARDIS, a stargate or a teleportation spell, I'm happy to stay a Gilmore girl. Nutty, witty, funny, unpredictable, quite the character and kinda cool ... which, as my nieces and nephews have told me, is why they love me as much as they do.

Regardless of the genre, tv shows draw us in when they are compelling, extraordinary, riveting and thought provoking, and especially when they mirror life in every possible way. If they happen to mirror your life, well, that a bonus, especially if you pick up any tips, or come to know and understand yourself better than you ever expected.

Thanks, girls!