I was understandably unhappy. I thought I had it in the bag. Apart from the usual doubts that creep in whenever anyone is going after something they really want, I thought I was in like Flynn. Sadly, I was wrong.
Toastmasters speech contests are funny things. You work hard to create an interesting story that you can sell in a mere five to seven minutes, you practise till you are good and ready and it's a natural part of your life, and then you compete against all manner of speaker experience and try to stay calm and collected in front of anywhere from 10 to 4,000 people.
Some of your fellow speakers you know, some you don't. Sometimes all goes as expected, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you actually win, sometimes you don't even come close - or at least close enough. Always you walk away with something unexpected, sometimes right away, sometimes long after the fact.
It's now long after the fact, and I am happy to say that I have grown up quite a bit since that day in May when I placed second to Trisha Sveistrup. Not easy at first, especially with well-meaning friends and colleagues stroking my bruised ego.
However, time does heal all wounds, and I am truly excited to be going to the Toastmasters International Conference to support Trisha in her vying for the top prize. I'm looking forward to sitting in the crowd and giving her my full attention. I'm looking forward to joining in with the oohs and aahs, the laughs and the reflections. And I'm looking forward to growing up some more, and playing an active role in supporting a colleague instead of licking past wounds.
As for that unexpected something? That day I realised I am not defined by contest results. I am defined by the words I say and the way I say them. And I am defined by their impact on the people who hear me.
No matter the result this week, if Trisha can find that lesson, she will be a winner in every way that counts.
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